My journey

“As in any journey, there is risk; any deepening of character necessiates a loss. Nonetheless, initiating such a journey remains watershed, an outpouring of unanticipated grace, an indelible opportunity to drink from the deep well of your life.”  -Saki Santorelli Heal Thy Self

Today was an unexpectedly poignant marker in my journey to balance, wellness, and inner-peace. While at work today, many of my co-workers whom I care deeply for and have been inspired by, discovered that I had given my two-weeks notice. Although I was not hiding it from anyone, I was not publicizing it either. It seemed that most people had heard from others and, since the rumor-mill was running overtime, it was easy to just address it as it came. The few people that I mentioned earlier, however, were more important to me than to just allow them to hear things  and come to their own conclusions. One of my favorite co-workers in particular, looked at me with sadness in her eyes when I told her we would only work one more shift together. She gave me a hug and told me she would truly miss me. I was stopped in my tracks. Here is a place that I am leaving with a sense of relief, a feeling of satisfaction knowing I have gotten all that I could out of this job. And yet today, I felt sad, nostalgic, a bittersweet feeling of wanting to go but not wanting to say goodbye. No one ever said change and goodbyes would be easy, but I seem to always neglect to give them the importance and respect that they deserve. Today re-grounded me in the fact that making major change and transitions is not an easy task but is necessary in the service of growth.

While having these thoughts and emotions running through my mind and body, I was also reading for my class tonight, Psychology of Illness and Wellness. I have shared with you my excitement for this course  because it is not only educating me on Mind Body Medicine and the effects of the Relaxation Response, but also asking me to incorporate these techniques into my daily life. While reading the book Heal Thy Self by Saki Santorelli, I stumbled upon the quote:

“As in any journey, there is risk; any deepening of character necessiates a loss. Nonetheless, initiating such a journey remains watershed, an outpouring of unanticipated grace, an indelible opportunity to drink from the deep well of your life.”

This quote really stood out to me, sitting amidst all of these bittersweet emotions, the idea of an “opportunity to drink from the deep well of your life” sounded so evocative and inspirational. I desperately want to begin this journey to and more peaceful and mindful body and soul. I want to go through the journey, despite the risks (quitting my job, having a questionable income, being fearful of the grad program I am in) in hopes of finding my truth, whatever it be. One of the most difficult feelings for me to sit with is the feeling of the “unknown;” life’s “what if’s” and uncertainties can feel overwhelming. Despite that uncomfortable feeling, I am accepting and embracing these moments and risks because they are what will inevitably bring me closer to the me that I want to be.

Another transition in the making for me is a food-related one. I have begun transitioning to vegetariansism.

The transition has been in the back of my mind for a while but I was not sure if  I was willing to give up eating meat. After reading literature surrounding animal cruelty and reading blogs such as Mama Pea’s, No Meat Athlete Matt’s, and Angela’s, I feel assured that this a lifestyle that I can enjoy and thrive from. The first couple weeks have been difficult, my skepticism has lead to me basing more of my meals around vegetables alone or veggie burgers rather than more filling nutrient sources. I am still learning and transitioning but I have hope that this risk will be far more worthwhile than I can even imagine at this moment.

So come along with me on my journey as I hope to continue chronicling it here on my blog. Hopefully we can support and inspire eachother (as I know I have been by other bloggers) to take risks that allow us to initiate our journeys, take risks, and to “drink from the deep well” of our lives.

Goodnight everyone 🙂

Em

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One Response to My journey

  1. A great post – this captures the bittersweet feelings of leaving old situations and embarking on new ones

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