Ready to be back…

Good evening friends!

It’s been quite a while and a bit of a ride but I am finally ready to come back to the blog world. I’ve been learning a lot in the past few months and I’m inspired by what I’ve discovered. Way back when, I was really low, probably one of the lowest places I’ve been in my life. My anxiety, which I usually manage very well, was completely out of control. I was at odds with my family at home, because let’s face it, it isn’t easy to live with someone who’s going through intense emotional ups and downs; and in times of stress it’s easiest to take it out on those you love the most. School was also intensely overwhelming for me at this time; I was so on edge every time I had to go to class and suddenly unsure of why I chose my grad program (I’m in a Master’s in Counseling Psychology program if you’re new to the blog). Ultimately, I was an anxious, scared, sad and confused person and had no idea what to do.

So what did I do in all this time to make things better for myself?

First of all, I allowed myself the time and space to cry and heal. Sometimes it seems that in today’s world, it’s difficult to stop and take time feel the emotions that we’re feeling. We live in a society that encourages us to “keep our chin up” and to “turn the other cheek.” I realized that I needed to just feel what I was feeling, if I didn’t let it all out I was sure it would come around to haunt me sometime in my life. If nothing else, I was determined that this would not defeat me, that I would stand strong and move forward. But I couldn’t do that without a little help…

During this time I realized how important my friends and family are. I began to reach out more and ask for the help that I needed. I have formed such closer and strong bonds with not only my friends but also with my family, both immediate and extended. My brother, in particular, has been a huge help to me.

Although we’ve never been the kind of siblings who are best friend, we’ve always been there for each other. Now that I have let go of so much of the negative emotions that I’ve been carrying around, we’ve been able to form a closer connection and laugh a lot more.

A major help for me in dealing with hard times in my life is being able to talk it out. When I began my grad program last year I decided to also begin being a therapist; hey, you have to be able to practice what you preach. I also really agreed with many of my professors who advocate the idea that in order to sit in a chair across from a client, you must have worked on the issues in your own life so that, on the day when someone walks in and is going through something that you have been through, it’s about them and not about you. Once I started being in therapy myself, I have realized that power that can come from just having someone there to be there for you and really listen and hear what you have to say. I have been able to to work through so much in this short time and for that I am very grateful.

What I have also realized in this time is that being well and fit, in mind, body, and soul, is something that is extremely important for me. I have begun to focus on the activities that I love and am now starting to see how they work to better myself as a person. As the list goes:

Group Power (strength training)-Confidence that I am strong and determined

Yoga-relaxation and a sense of calm

Running-talk therapy without the talk…just me and the pavement

Cycling-freedom and release from the day to day

Cooking and Baking-mindfulness, being completely wrapped up in the dish at hand

Photography-beauty and stillness; it makes me appreciate the small and the vast

Dancing-carefree and invigorated, alive!

Beach-zen, my happy place

Hiking-refreshed and renewed surrounded by nature and all it’s beauty

Reading-both and escape and some company, a whole world to be wrapped up in

Blogging-community and connection, a place to meet with the people who share my passions

I hope to now be back here sharing with all of you the daily things that make me, me!

Have a great night everyone!

lots of love,

Em